Like the rest of the world, we’ve been slightly skeptical about the fate of Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s marriage. Although the two seem be head over heels for each other, Brand is a recovering sex (and drug) addict, who acts like he’s lost his mind. And Perry’s star is on the rise, which as we know from other celebrity marriages (uh-hem, Reese and Ryan) can be a major problem for a Hollywood husband’s ego. But we didn’t think the problems would start on the couple’s honeymoon!
But according to RadarOnline.com, Perry and Brand’s honeymoon bites—literally. After getting hitched in India, the couple headed to the super exclusive Maldives for what we assumed would be a total newlywed sex fest. After all, Brand is a sex maniac and according to Australian mag, Grazia, the two kept their hands off each other (as in, no hanky panky) for a whole month before the wedding. Seriously! Why you ask? We’re not completely sure. Maybe they’re more old fashioned than we think, and Katy wanted to feel like a virginal bride or something. 9 Wacky Facts About Katy Perry’s Wedding
Unfortunately, the plan backfired, because soon after Katy and Russell arrived in the Maldives, a spider bit Katy, and she developed a nasty rash on her leg. Now, this is Russell Brand we’re talking about, so we’re assuming that a little rash wouldn’t stop him from pouncing on his new wife. But according to Radar, the meds Katy had to take for the rash left her to too drowsy to get busy.
Oh, and apparently, Brand really missed out, because his wife told Now Magazine that she is so skilled in the sack that Russell would rate her at 10 (that’s out of 10, folks). As a side note, apparently, that’s why Katy’s not worried the ex-womanizer will stray.
And if the spider bite isn’t bad enough, now it looks like the couple is being sued for making too much noise at their wedding. According to 411mania, charges have been filed against the newlyweds for breaking local noise laws with their rager of a reception, and if convicted, the couple could go to jail for seven years (no joke)! Talk about seven years of bad luck!
But hey, maybe not having sex on your honeymoon (and getting sued) is like rain on your wedding day—good luck for the marriage but majorily sucky at the time. Let’s just hope that Katy’s rash heals fast, so she can go back to wowing Russell with her sexual prowess. Otherwise, this completely weird, but surprisingly adorable couple might be headed for a Tiger-style sex scandal. ‘Cause we’re gonna assume that Brand is not going to be able to stay celibate for two months (one month is like a world record for him)!
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